Your failbrain is MADE OF FAIL. *offers you hugs* The first way to drive people fucking crazycakes is to not give them any time off, always keep them tired and busy, and keep promising that if they're ~good enough~ things will get better at some future date.

Then the whole "where do I live? But geography and relationships do not mix!" is just sucky because any choice of yours is going to require a lot of courage and sitting with fear and uncertainty, which just SUCKS.

So yeah, you deserve kindness and understanding. Not FAILBRAIN.