Here via alexseanchai, and off the bat am thinking my woes are Not Worthy, are dumb, clearly my own fault, etc., etc. So there's some brain weasels for the brain weasel farm. >_>
So, complaints: *I'm tired of being poor, and either having no practical experience, no mental forebearance, and/or a lack of the lack of anxiety to fix it.
*I don't want to be living here; it's far from transit, it's crowded, my parents are poor too (which is relevant mostly in that we can't afford to move as a whole any more than I can afford to move myself), and I often feel like my presence, though not unwelcome, is certainly an inconvenience. I'd rather be in Seattle. Or Hawaii. Or honestly closer to transit.
*I'd really like to learn how to drive, but my options are Nope or Ask Grandparents For Help (and that's also really a Nope for reasons of brain weasels and also pretty sure they judge me a failure as-is...)
*My computer is over 7.5 years old and is dying a slow death because it doesn't have enough memory to keep up with modern internet browsing (even when I try to limit myself to <10 tabs and largely text-only, I've had memory-related BSoDs; I try not to dual-run much of anything but browser and Gtalk), and at this point it's far enough past Tech Prime that it'd probably be cheaper to get a whole new computer than to try and upgrade the hardware of this one, but see first bullet point.
*I wish I had places to go and things to do! For an introvert, I am really happier when I'm out Doing Things - or can look forward to Doing A Thing at least once a week... :(
*This is petty compared to the other stuff but I'm almost out of chain and want more pretty beads and feathers and for the love of anything holy clasps that aren't Painfully Cheap Omg What Was I Thinking Buying These. .... And I want some chips. Chiiiiiiips. And a new blanket for my blanket collection. (Nooo none of these things are on my Amazon wishlist why do you ask? >_____>)
*The thing where if I wasn't either A) a coward and/or B) unprettiful, I'd go for a live-in position Elsewhere, or maybe try modelling, but I can never talk my brain around itself (or the fact that modeling tends to require smiling and that means showing teath and my teeth are not fit for such things).
*Depression and anxiety suck balls. Especially when you have no way to get them diagnosed. (I self-treat with fanfic, gaming, and avoidance of ... lots of things.)
*The idea that maybe I could sell some of this jewelry I'm making as my NaNoWriMo effort is both exciting and scary and I bounce between pondering potential prices and "Eh, it's all crap anyway, who'd want it?" \o/ /o\
*flops* So there you have it, most of the stuff bothering me chronically. I feel like this is unnecessarily long and anyway nothing to be done, so I'm gonna go finish this anklet I'm making now, and leave a few happy-making things:
I found my creativity! It's all coming out in jewelry-making, but that's okay, I'm mostly satisfied with the results and that's what counts.
Skyrim DLCs! And how my stockpile of nearly 700 iron ingot is finally good for something. (I was saving it up for when I decide to legendary my smithing, but really, this is a Much Shinier Use, and also iron is the easiest ore to find EVER).
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2014-11-24 03:19 am (UTC)So, complaints:
*I'm tired of being poor, and either having no practical experience, no mental forebearance, and/or a lack of the lack of anxiety to fix it.
*I don't want to be living here; it's far from transit, it's crowded, my parents are poor too (which is relevant mostly in that we can't afford to move as a whole any more than I can afford to move myself), and I often feel like my presence, though not unwelcome, is certainly an inconvenience. I'd rather be in Seattle. Or Hawaii. Or honestly closer to transit.
*I'd really like to learn how to drive, but my options are Nope or Ask Grandparents For Help (and that's also really a Nope for reasons of brain weasels and also pretty sure they judge me a failure as-is...)
*My computer is over 7.5 years old and is dying a slow death because it doesn't have enough memory to keep up with modern internet browsing (even when I try to limit myself to <10 tabs and largely text-only, I've had memory-related BSoDs; I try not to dual-run much of anything but browser and Gtalk), and at this point it's far enough past Tech Prime that it'd probably be cheaper to get a whole new computer than to try and upgrade the hardware of this one, but see first bullet point.
*I wish I had places to go and things to do! For an introvert, I am really happier when I'm out Doing Things - or can look forward to Doing A Thing at least once a week... :(
*This is petty compared to the other stuff but I'm almost out of chain and want more pretty beads and feathers and for the love of anything holy clasps that aren't Painfully Cheap Omg What Was I Thinking Buying These. .... And I want some chips. Chiiiiiiips. And a new blanket for my blanket collection. (Nooo none of these things are on my Amazon wishlist why do you ask? >_____>)
*The thing where if I wasn't either A) a coward and/or B) unprettiful, I'd go for a live-in position Elsewhere, or maybe try modelling, but I can never talk my brain around itself (or the fact that modeling tends to require smiling and that means showing teath and my teeth are not fit for such things).
*Depression and anxiety suck balls. Especially when you have no way to get them diagnosed. (I self-treat with fanfic, gaming, and avoidance of ... lots of things.)
*The idea that maybe I could sell some of this jewelry I'm making as my NaNoWriMo effort is both exciting and scary and I bounce between pondering potential prices and "Eh, it's all crap anyway, who'd want it?" \o/ /o\
*flops* So there you have it, most of the stuff bothering me chronically. I feel like this is unnecessarily long and anyway nothing to be done, so I'm gonna go finish this anklet I'm making now, and leave a few happy-making things:
I found my creativity! It's all coming out in jewelry-making, but that's okay, I'm mostly satisfied with the results and that's what counts.
And this YT vid of foxes being super duper cute (Japanese audio with English subtitles). Relatedly, @emergency_fox. <3
Skyrim DLCs! And how my stockpile of nearly 700 iron ingot is finally good for something. (I was saving it up for when I decide to legendary my smithing, but really, this is a Much Shinier Use, and also iron is the easiest ore to find EVER).